Pirates!

Not to be confused with music enthusiasts with half a brain.

I’m talking about the ol’ skull and crossbones stock.

A bit of background *ahem*: Spain’s Charles II was ill and o his death bed so naturally the European powers were forced to think about how would get control of Spains land. So, Charles II’s daughters , who would ordinarly have claim , had waivered the right by marrying sons of Leopold (Holy Roman Emporer) and Louis XIV. Now that left everyone in a bit of a bind. So, A treaty of partition of offered to grant The French strategic areas in Italy as well as spanish netherlands and a few other places while Leopold would get Everything else.

that didn’t sit too well with leopold, as he needed those italian points (notably milan) to protect his southern flank from the ever present Ottomans. So he denied the agreement and Charles II named the grandson of Louis XIV to take the title as the would be heirs reclaimed right to the French throne.

Well, this pissed of the English because they already don’t like france very much, and even less when in control of the entire spanish empire. So, pretty much everyone was pretty upset about this french-spanish tryst and the english teamed up with the dutch to settle the score. Germans saw an opportunity to take back alsace and lorreine, and Leopold I just kinda hung out and whatever.

The Spanish needed to protect their resources and France was a cheap ally, but cheap allies don’t come free.

SO, WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH PIRATES?????

well, the English signed a bunch of letters of marque to seafaring mercenaries during this time, and a bunch of them ended up in the west indies, naturally, and became PIRATES.

The Spanish needed protected their Florida and Caribbean investments. England needed to protect their colonies from the creepin’ French in the north.

Pirates were the tobacco ash in the greatest chess game the world has ever played.

In the first few weeks of the voyage, pirates would eat eggs, fish, meat, fruits, veggies, whatever. They would even combine all of it to make Salmagundi. When that ran out, they’d turn to salted or pickled meat and eventually sea biscuits or hard tack with and without weevils.

And when that ran out, they ate bone soup (broth made from bones from sea turtles or whatever they could find).

The pirates life was also a homosocial one, particularly comprised of young men. So, it might not have been uncommon for a pirate and his mate to eat each other’s cum or ass.

 

(INSERT MON ON MAN ASS EATING HERE) EXPLICIT HONTENT MY READERSHIP IS ALL AGES THANK YOU

The pirates life was no all inclusive resort, but then again, it never is.

 

 

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